tagged in a list

If you knew me at all, you would know that I would never tell any of this to anyone except to those who already knew and wouldn’t need to be told.

Oprah 2020

Calling it.

the flipside

The chef hosting the show talked of the pleasure she got from her work. But it was her guest, the housewife, who put it in truly beautiful words: the love that I get from my family is what gives me joy. 

My cooking is too poor to have ever earned me love, but I understand the satisfaction that comes from doing something for someone. Whether it is making my father a cup of tea or helping a friend in need, I have enjoyed the thanks that come from simple acts. But much like the chef in the show, the warm glow I experience comes from a selfish place rather than any true sense of altruism. Even if I do something for you, it is quite possible that I was thinking of me.

There are times, though, when we are rudely reminded of the other person. Illness reminds us how little we are able to do for them. Death renders us truly helpless and any effort we make only serves to show how powerless we are. Two days ago I was basking in the thanks of some dinner guests. Today, I can’t help but think of my friend Zerin whose mother is in hospital fighting cancer. There is nothing I can do to make it better. There is no joy here for me.